Wednesday, January 16, 2008

If Bush Were to Quit...

Another great email from Michael Genung.

If Bush resigned today, this is what his speech would

Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow
Americans." Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication,
I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something
terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before
anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or
to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no
breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you
people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really
going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation
of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your
homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by
politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you
think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of
homeowners, including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while
we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business
ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it
ever was during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those
things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock
market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are
participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine
about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that
gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of
the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried
about polar bears and beach front property than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this
"blood for oil" thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've
already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to
hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap either.

If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical
weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned
up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought
Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime
change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some
guy named 'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that,
did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique
enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing
political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did
so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we
do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new
enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be
fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you
with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you , and the
bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more
of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not.
That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of
intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people
have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I
warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm
disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight
amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of
seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do.
You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who
help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you
send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well,
dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist.
It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth.
It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York
Times or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any
smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the
government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too
stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane

I could say more about your insane belief that
government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But
I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right
over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an
energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the
capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford
before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one
will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old
age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means
Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does
carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just
enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around
in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some
of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.

1 comment:

Avram said...

loved this piece man ...

i put it up on my blog, citing your blog as where i found it ... hope that's ok ...